


Smoke

by JaneyBaney



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: F/M, Gen, I'll list characters as they appear, Older generation VFD, first asoue fic, same with ships, vfd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 14:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneyBaney/pseuds/JaneyBaney
Summary: There's a Man no one knows, someone who can't remember, and a unusual shortage of tea.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All started with a prompt by the Tumblr promptsforthestrugglingauthor.tumblr.com and thier prompt # 479
> 
> It grew to be something bigger.

His throat was on fire, his eyes hurt.   
  
He couldn’t cry anymore. No matter how much he wanted to. He had been wrung clean of tears. Even tears of fear, he found, when he hear the rumble of thunder.   
  
He had forgotten. The radio had said a storm was coming. Expected this evening, heavy showers. Lots of lightning. But the man had said he’d be back by then! He promised!   
  
The Boy looked up at the opening to the sky. He wasn't sure if it was his fear or if the sky was actually starting to darken. Darken with clouds full of water. Water that would surely drown him, he knew.   
  
He thought about last summer when Mother and Father had tried to teach him to swim. And he hadn’t wanted to.    
  
“Maybe later.” He said. And they said okay. He went over that memory. Except imagining that his parents had become strict. That they had insisted. That they in their wisdom had dragged him to the shore, and told him he was not leaving until he could swim, and that was final.   
  
He imagined this so fervently, and in such detail, that perhaps, maybe, it would become true. That somehow time stalled and corrected itself. But the loud clap of thunder told him no, this wasn't so. It would rain hard, and the man wasn’t coming back.   
  
The Boy looked foreward at the sewers. It was odd, for the Man had said this was a well, but there weren't any wells he knew if that led into the sewers. That would defeat the purpose of a well, wouldn't it?   
  
The threshold that separated the well and the sewers, was like the opening to a large tunnel. So it wasn’t a problem if he could fit through. But it had been from beyond, in there, that those terrible things had come from.    
  
The rats, the people in masks, all the many terrible things he had seen, had all been in those sewers. The Kind Man had been big enough to fight them off. He could pick The Boy up and carry him. He had a electrical device that made a shock and scarred away all those horrible things.   
  
The Boy knew he wasn’t that brave. He knew he couldn’t face the dangers alone in there. He knew he was still terribly afraid of the dark. And, even though he hadn't grown up in the city, he was certain he had heard from somewhere, that sewers flooded when it rained.   
  
His throat was still aching, and his eyes burned. His body seemed to be making all the motions of crying and sobbing, even though no tears or sound came out.   
  
The Boy crouched down, head to his knees. And prayed. Prayed the Kind Man came back. Prayed that perhaps he had learned to swim and simply forgotten this. He prayed for things that he didn't even know what.   
  
The first few drops of water fell on his head, and he looked up. It was completely dark now.    
  
And then there was an echo from the sewers. The Boy could see the dimmest glow of a flashlight, growing brighter as it came.   
  
It would be nearly impossible to describe the boy’s relief and joy to see the savoir coming for him. And almost equally as impossible as to describe his confusion once he saw it was not the Kind Man.   
  
The flashlight was powerful, so that once he stepped into the alcove it was just about entirely illuminated. And The Boy saw, that it wasn't the Kind Man who he had come to know the last few days..   
  
The Boy stood up, and saw this man wasn't a man. Not quite, he was about as old as his cousin.    
  
"Your Grace." The teenager said, "I suppose you'd be more comfortable elsewhere."   
  
He nodded, as the rain began to fall more heavily.   
  
The teenager asked if he would be offended if he picked him up, but didn't wait for an answer. Scooping him up, and running back the way he had come, as though the flooding had started.   
  
"What about the man?" The Boy managed to let out. His voice strained, and his throat still quite sore.   
  
"What man?" The Teenager asked.   
  
"He," The Boy tried to swallow, something to sooth his throat, "Come back?"   
  
"Well, he must have gotten caught up somewhere." The Teenager dismissed, turning a corner.   
  
So the Man hadn't sent him? That was odd. That was confusing. But this young fellow had saved him, and for that The Boy knew he couldn't complain.   
  
They turned another corner, and at the end if this next tunnel was another teenager waiting for them. Once they got close, and the first one set him down, The Boy observed that the second person was older, if only by a bit.   
  
He held out his hand to shake, and said “Honored to meet you, Your Grace” and that they had been delayed and would have come sooner, and hoped he could forgive them.   
  
Forgive? The Boy figured he owed them his life and an an additional two. But he said nothing.   
  
"Well, let's go. Your cousin is waiting."   
  
"My cousin?" He rasped. He hadn’t expected that. He had asked the Man why they didn’t go to his cousin, and the Man had given no answer.   
  
"Yes! Let's not keep her waiting."   
  
With that, he stepped aside to reveal a ladder, leading up to a covering. Going first, the older of the two opened it, and The Boy could hear that the rain had started to fall very heavily. It was lightening. Yet there did seem to be any indication that they were in danger of flooding down here below. But still, he hurried and climbed out.    
  
Once they were all above ground, he saw they were also in an area not too far from home. It was heavily wooded, which on any other day would have been a lovely sight. There was a taxi on the dirt road that the they hurried him into.   
  
Inside was a blanket, a cup of water, one of tea, and another of hot chocolate. "Your Cousin did not say which you preferred." They explained as the taxi drove off.   
  
The water soothed his throat. As did the tea, after it cooled down.   
  
The two teenagers introduced themselves, and how they knew his cousin, but The Boy had other more important questions. Was the Kind Man still in the sewers then? And did they know him? Was he also a friend of Ramona's? If not then why had he kept him safe these last few days? And why was there a maze of sewers underneath the wild woods of his families property?   
  
The two young men acknowledged he must have many questions. And one told him very factually those weren’t sewers, they were tunnels. The Boy wasn’t sure he believed that, but he didn’t argue.   
  
His throat was feeling better, he could speak more clearly now. ”I would just like to know he is okay. He kept me safe these last few days, he is a very kind man. I hope he didn’t run into trouble.” The Boy said, looking out the window.   
  
And not noticing the expressions on the young adult and teenager’s faces.   
  
It was sometime later, after the rain had stopped and The Boy fell asleep, that the taxi came to a halt. He woke up to one of them telling him they were here.He rubbed his eyes, and stepped out.   
  
The Boy didn't notice the adjacent bus station next to the shelter. He didn't notice the distant outline of the city. All he could see, was his cousin coming towards him with wide open arms.   
  
"Roland!"   
  
"Ramona!"   
  
She hugged him tight, picking him up. He buried his face in her shoulder, not sure if he should cry or laugh   
  
"I thought I'd never see you again!" Looking at her two friends she asked, "Where was he?"   
  
"At a dead end that led opened up to a well in the tunnels." Lemony answered.   
  
"A well?"   
  
"A well." Jacques nodded slightly.   
  
"He was talking about a “Kind Man”.”   
  
Her eyes didn't widen, or looked worried. But her brow showed enough concern that it was apparent that she thought the same thing as the brothers.   
  
Roland moved his face from her shoulder. "Is he going to be okay? Is he here?"   
  
”No, he’s not here.”   
  
”Will you find him?”   
  
”We will try.” Lemony said truthfully.   
  
"Are Mother and Father here too?" Roland asked. As soon as he did, the look on his cousin’s face made him feel like he had asked something wrong.   
  
But all Ramona said was "Come along, Roland. We have many things to discuss."   
  
"Thank you." He said to the brothers, and off he went. Still in Ramona's arms.   
  
Lemony and Jacques both had an expression, that would make a normal passerby think there was something to worry about. Like perhaps the taxi was having engine trouble, or they had forgotten to get their Mother a card for her birthday.   
  
There was something to worry about. But it was only just a bit more troublesome than forgetting to get your mother a card that reminded her you knew how old she was getting.   
  
A fire, a boy abandoned, and a Man.   
  
They returned to the taxi, and began to drive. As they passed the station they could see Ramona and Roland. She must have just told him the fate of his parents. His home.   
  
Ramona had a friend who was on their way. They'd take Roland to a safe place. Answer some of his questions.   
  
‘A safe place’, Lemony thought. And he thought about the sight of the child curled up in the well. He could have gone on his own. Roland hadn’t been guarded by a pack of dogs or methodically placed bars. All he had to do was move.   
  
"What are you thinking?"   
  
"That this man was bold, leaving Roland in the tunnels. Alone. But he was keeping him there nonetheless.”   
  
”Once he calms down they can get more information from him.”   
  
“And then?”   
  
”You know what then.” Jacques said evenly. He glanced at his brother. “He’ll be taken care off.” He offered.   
  
”He was helpless down there.”   
  
”That’s why we went to get him.”   
  
”I went to get him.”   
  
”Well you lost the coin toss.”   
  
No argument there. And there was nothing else to really say either. He knew his brother, and he knew that Jacques would insist Roland would be fine. He’d insist there was nothing else for the boy, except to join. Was that true?   
  
His mind kept going back to the sight of him, curled up and alone. Helpless. A few years ago he thought perhaps he'd agree with his brother, and R, but, he couldn't. He had a creeping, terrible feeling that Roland wouldn't last.    
  
And aside from that...this man. This new fire.   
  
Jacques broke his train of thought. "Until we have more information there's not anything else we can do."    
  
"That's not enough."    
  
"That's all there is." He said, looking at the road. At the approaching City. "Anywhere you want to go?"    
  
“Yes, actually.”   
  
“Say no more.”   
  
He remembered his brother had an engagement. He knew his brother was thinking of it. And he knew he could get him there in time for Beatrice to complain he was too early and they were had time for previews.   
  



	2. A Futile Favor

R leaned the whole of her body weight on the door, one arm holding up the other as she heard the pounding.

“Start reading.” 

“Noooo.” Roland whined on the other side of the door.

“Come on.”

“I hate this book!” He cried, “Its for babies!”

“So is throwing a fit.” 

The pounding kept on. She didn’t disagree the book was dreadful. She had had to read it too when she was even younger than him. But he had already done his recreational three hour reading for the day, and had promised to get the assigned assignment done later. Later was now.

The pounding on the other side of the door was augmented by a kick that she felt aimed at her butt, and then it was quiet. 

R leaned off the door a bit and listened. She expected for the pounding to start up again, but it didn’t. R waited five minutes before turning around and slowly pushed up the thin panel on the door, revealing a peephole.

Roland was sitting on his bed, not looking too content but had Peter Rabbit open, and reading it. He closed the book, thought better of it, then opened it up again defeated. But he was getting it done.

“Good boy.” R sighed, sliding the panel back down. “Keep being a good boy.” 

Really though, she wondered if perhaps the required reading list should be updated. Peter Rabbit hardly ever proved to be useful these days. She herself hadn’t used the bunnies as warning codes in she didn’t know how long.

R left her cousin to do his reading, and went towards the cafeteria. The book should take Roland ten minutes exactly, only if he kept putting it down and picking it back up like she had seen.

This morning had made everyone cranky. Poor Roland was the only one who dare showed it. He was young enough to get away with it. But R would have gladly whined and kicked a door down herself if she could.

Five weeks since they found Roland again and still there was nothing on the Kind Man. Or why the Duke and Duchess of Ontario had been attacked in such a way. Sure, they all had the figurative and literal target on their backs, but why her Uncle and Aunt specifically?

Yes, their titles held quite a weight, but R’s own family would have paid a much more costly price in an event of kidnapping. And an even more weighted cost in a deadly fire.

And then why did they save Roland? Why had they kept him, and then kept him unharmed? 

And Roland himself seemed to be out of information. This morning he had insisted that he had told us everything, he had insisted so much he was nearly in tears. But even R wasn’t sure of that. We always have more to tell, because we always see things without knowing.

But her cousin had gotten so despondent and outright rude at the end, and annoyed that it seemed no one believed him, she wasn’t sure that whatever he didn’t know he knew, he would make known to them.

R stared at her cup. He’d be done by now. She hadn’t eaten the croissant. Asking for it to go, R gathered herself and started for the Bedrooming and Home section of HeadQuarters. 

 

The Hemlock Tearoom and Stationery Shop  was not busy, as usual. It was serving watery tea and bad eggs, also as usual. And had a large clock on the wall, which was new, and showing that the train for 8 o’clock tonight, would be leaving in twenty minutes.

If you had been there you would have seen two young people, sitting across from each other. And you would have thought ‘There are two young people, and one is about to leave for sometime.’

And she was. The two young people were squeezing out every last second they had, before she would be gone for some three months. They had been doing this since the young woman was aware of her long assignment. 

Both knew they should be used to long periods of separation, but that was almost like telling someone they should be used to being hungry. Especially if that person was known for always being hungry.

Beatrice and Lemony were holding hands under the small table. They had been doing so since they sat down, and since before then. Right now, with only minutes left, they had not much else to say. But they didn’t mind that. Quiet moments like reading the paper, or a book, in the company of someone you treasure deeply, is all that you needed. Sometimes you thought it you did it just one minute longer, it would be enough to store up, and last until that person returned to you. 

Rarely this was the case, but it was something that they both told themselves.

Beatrice however couldn't focus on her book. She was reading the same word twice, let alone the same sentence.

She looked up at Lemony. “Dearest?”

“Yes?”

“You look troubled.” She said plainly. When he only looked at her in response, she added, “Jacques told me you have been moping around lately.”

“Did he?” Lemony answered.

“Yes.” She gave him a knowing look. He knew better than to try and deflect with her. “And I’ve come to two conclusions, Mr. Snicket.”

“If one is, I will miss you then yes. I can’t stress that any more than I have already.” His thumb ran over her knuckles, “I’ll miss you terribly.”

“I know.” She said, “I will miss you terribly more.” 

“I don’t think so.”

“Of course I will.” She closed her book, “But my other conclusion was that something else is troubling you. And my conclusion to that conclusion, is that the thing troubling you has to do with whatever reason you and Jacques went out to the Wilmer Woods Tunnels.”

“How much did he tell you?” Lemony asked after he blinked.

“Not much else.” She assured. “Only that you retrieved R’s little cousin who had been missing since the Castle of Oregon mysteriously half caught on fire, and half blew up.”

“I see.”

“He was just telling me he was worried.”

“Isn't he usually?”

“Well he has two very worrisome siblings to look after.” Beatrice’s lip curled, her hand squeezing his. “And I worry too.”

“Over me or the mysterious fire And explosion?”

“Both.” She said, and took her hand away from his. She put it on top of the table, and then in his cheek. “I will miss you My Dear.”

Lemony felt her cool palm on his side, he closed his eyes, he wanted to stay like this. 

However the train didn't take that into account, and they heard an announcement that passengers had ten minutes to make it to the platform.

“So was I right?” Beatrice asked as they walked to there.

“As usual.” He answered, “But I can not do anything at the present. Not until I hear from R again at the very least.”

“Do you think you will?”

“I don't know.” He said. Beatrice looked up at him, and he repeated he truly didn't. 

“Well, when you do…”

“I know.” He sighed. His hand gripped her’s tighter as they approached Platform B. 

“Well, on one hand, by the time I've returned we will be able to celebrate with our first legal alcoholic beverage.” -

He smiled at that. He couldn't help it.

The platform was full of people saying farewell, and hurrying about with large suitcases, and holding the hands of children.

Five minutes. 

Beatrice looked at him. Her hand trailed back up to his cheek, her thumb traced over the space under his eye, by his nose. “I will write often as I can.”

“You'll be busy.” He said softly. “Be safe.”

“I will.” She said back. They kissed, gently, as though the train would wait for them. Really, they thought, we should be used to this. 

“I don't understand why they seem determined for us to never be assigned together.” Beatrice sighed.

“Because of this,” Her partner for the assignment said suddenly, next to them. He pointed an index finger in a circling motion, “Because no one wants to see...this...all the time.”

Lemony looked over at him, but Beatrice spoke first, “Olaf we've both been with You and whomever you were dating at that time on assignments.”

“So?”

“So who are you to say?” She laughed. “I mean dancing, at all hours if the night.”

“And when we were suppose to be quiet.” Lemony added, without humor.

“We were not that loud. Didn’t wake anyone up ”  He pulled out a cigarette.

“That's because none if us off-duty could fall asleep.”

“But, we didn't wake anyone up.” He said, lighting it. 

Beatrice saw Lemony’s expression, and put her hand on the side of his face to turn him back to her. “Don't take him serious, Darling.”

“Asking a Snicket,” Olaf scoffed, “To not be serious is like asking a hippo to take up pilates.”

“Go on the train Olaf,” She said, keeping her eyes on Lemony’s, “I'll be there shortly.”

Olaf blew out a cloud of smoke and rolled his eyes as he went to enter the train. “Honestly, watching you two at Hemlock was bad enough. I can't imagine being on a job…”

“Anyway.” Beatrice brought his face closer to her’s for a kiss. “He's just jealous he doesn't have his own Snicket here to see him off.”

“If you say so.” 

“Where is Kit again? You said Arizona?”

“That or Peru.” Lemony shrugged, “It was hard to hear what she was saying.”

There was a final call for all who were boarding. Beatrice looked into his eyes.“Wait for me?”

“I will.” He kissed her forehead one last time, and let her go.

He saw her sit down at the window once she boarded, and wave goodbye to him. Olaf gave him a 1/4th-hearted wave. 

He remembered back when Kit and Olaf had first began to see each other as more than associates. There had indeed been a double date with him and Beatrice. And only one.

And then the train began to move. And he watched it go, taking her away from him, until it was out of sight.

The platform was empty except for him. He waited a bit longer, for no real reason, and then turned around and started home.

Once at home he found a note from his brother. -

_ “Tied up at work, see you in the near future. Be Good. _

_   -J” _

Why did Kit and Jacques still tell him to “be good”? He didn’t question it too long.

He crumpled up the paper and absent mindedly stuck it in his pocket.

The evening was spent with a dinner of baked Tilapia and Dill Sauce being eaten, and a book that delved into the complicated relationships you can have with your unruly pet, when Lemony Snicket heard a faint whistling.

The whistling was a tea kettle. He forgot he put it on. And then, turning the heat down and taking a mug from the cabinet, he also saw that someone forgot to buy more tea. 

If Jacques was here Lemony would say he forgot. If Kit was here, she would also have said Jacques forgot. But since neither were here Lemony, instead of wasting time blaming people, pulled his coat on, and took his keys. He also turned off the stove.

You don't realise how hard tea is to come by until you are wandering store to store looking for it. And finding all the Store-to-Stores’ have closed for the night. 

Thankfully there were other stores in the city, but it seemed they were well stocked in everything but tea.

There are smaller stores called corner stores, or bodegas, which as Lemony found after heading to each bodega he could remember, were now closed.

Perhaps he should have stayed home blaming Jacques after all.

He also thought, dismally, that places in the city seemed to close earlier and earlier than they once had. Or, perhaps he use to go to bed earlier, and enjoyed staying up this late at one point.

He was trying to decide which was which when a voice behind him said, “Sir, you dropped something.”

“I don't keep receipts.” He said, not turning around.

“No one likes clutter.”

He turned around. And smiled as she came into the light of the streetlamp.

“Hello, R.” He said.

“Hello, L.” She said, “Fancy seeing you out and about. Isn't it past your bedtime?”

“We're out of tea at the apartment.”

“Tea? At this time of night?”

“Don't I know it.”

She walked in step with him, and they went on down the pavement.

“You're walking?" She said with an eyebrow raised. Clearly referring to the fact that if one must walk around outside in the dark, it is better to walk around by sitting in a car and driving.

For instance if you are walking around and your enemies close in on you, you could do a number of things to escape safely.

One of those things is putting your arms straight out around you and turning around very fast yelling things like "bazooka!" or "shut the Flynn!" or "smeckledorfed!". Or you could put your two fists together with your index fingers extended and wiggle them around in a way that she distract your enemies, giving you enough time to run for your life.   
Whereas if you are sitting in your car and your enemies close in on you, all you have to do is simply apply a bit more pressure on the gas pedal.   
"Is J that mad at you?"   
"He's on an assignment."   
"Ah." 

“I'm surprised to see you as well.” He said, “I didn't think you could manage to leave Roland alone for so long.”

“It's only half a day by helicopter.”

“Still.”

She thought a moment, and agreed. He knew her almost as well as she knew him. “Still.”

“Any news?”

“No.” She sighed, “Nothing. And Roland, well, he couldn't tell us much. I don't think he will anyway.”

Lemony nodded, he wasn't surprised in all honesty. He heard Roland’s name and still thought of when he first saw the boy, curled up and alone in the tunnels. He had only spoken to R once since he and Jacques had rescued him, and he kept himself from being honest with her about the child.

Honestly, he was worried for him. Honestly, he hoped for R’s sake he’d be okay. Honestly, he knew that wouldn’t be the case. And honestly, he knew that was the main reason R had come all this way. 

But he had done the same with her, many many times. He trusted her more than some other people who he should trust most of all.

“He lost his parents.”

“Haven’t we all?” R said sadly, “One way or another. But…” She trailed off, “I’ll cut to the chase, I think there’s something else he could tell us about the Kind Man, but he’s just not remembering.”

“Did you try telling him to list flower types alphabetically backwards, then ask him about the Man?”

“Yes, to no avail.” She said, ‘He’s not adapting too well.”

“Good-”

“I’m being serious Lemony. In a few months he will be all set to go to school, but I don’t think he  _ really _ will be.”

“Not in the way it’s preferred.”

“No…”

“You think I can help?”

“He reminds me of you at that age.” She smiled, “I think you can talk to him.”

Lemony looked at her blandly. Which here means, he looked at her without giving any indication whether he agreed with that or not. 

“He’s only come so far as he has because I’m asking him to. On his own…”

“On his own, you think he’ll get in trouble. But I could have told you that.”

“I know. And that is why I didn’t ask.” 

“If he’s barely listening to you I doubt he’ll listen to me.” 

“I’m not asking you to do something out of character. We can’t always have our things our way, this we all know. This you know. I think if you could tell Roland-”

“Tell him what? That he has to go under this rigorous training to follow a tradition that he was unaware of til now, all in the name of noble and true pursuits that he can’t even understand the full scope of?”

“How is it any different than what we did?”

“It’s not, which is why I can’t.” He said. They stopped walking. R looked at him, not quite frustrated but quite tired. 

“I suppose you can’t.” She said, taking her arm from him. “I know I can’t make you either. Well,” She put her hands back in her coat, “I suppose it was worth a try.”

“I suppose.” Lemony replied. “I’m sorry R. If Jacques was here-”

“I didn’t want to ask Jacques, I wanted to ask you.” She said firmly. 

“I know.”

“As I’m sure you also know why I need you to talk with him.” 

“What are you expecting? A “man-to-man” talk? Convince him he’ll be okay? What exactly?”

“I suppose I didn’t even know. But I do know that some people are getting fed up with him, and I do know that he needs to straighten up enough to survive in this world. He’s a good boy, but he doesn’t like hearing “no”.”

“No one likes hearing “no”.”

“No, no they don’t.” She said, “But we still have to.”

They said nothing for a moment. Both of them knew the conversation was long over, and yet neither wanted it to be. Neither wanted to end this meeting slightly irritated with the other. You should never leave friends’ company feeling upset. 

R stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. He did the same. Except unlike her, he didn't put something in her pocket. 

When they let go R said, “Have a good night Snicket. Be good.”

“You too.”

He watched her walk away, back down past the streetlights until she could no longer be seen. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out three packets of tea. Lemon Zinger tea. 

He went home.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Im using the fact (in the country I'm in) that the drinking age use to be lower, so at this point in time of the ASOUE universe, Lemony and Beatrice will soon be 18.
> 
> -I like the idea that even if they weren't all there at the same time too often, the Snicket siblings shared an apartment for a brief period in thier lives.
> 
> -Also just a general I didn't really adhere to the gauge timeline of events in Canon, my apologies if thats inconvenient


End file.
